I’ve recently been pondering, “who do I want to be in three years.”
It brought me to my teenage years, when I was asked, WHAT do you want to be when you grow up?
There’s such a huge difference between the WHO and the WHAT.
What refers to what you’ll do. And when we ask children this question, it’s related to a job that they’ll have as an adult. What will you do to make money? What will you DO. It’s about DOING for money, to pay bills. It really doesn’t reflect who they will be, or what difference they will make in the world.
But, the who? Who will you be? This refers to more about values, morals, personality, and a deeper meaning of BEING. Not doing. WHO do I want to be in three years?
I want to be a who that matters— that’s made a difference in the world. Being a who that matters is far different than doing a what. Anyone can do a what. But being a who that matters takes intention, effort and persistence.
I want to be the mom that has created a lovely life of freedom for my children. The mom that understands their hearts, and honors who they are. A “who” that sees their strengths and helps them build upon those. Not the, oh, you’re not very good at that, so lets focus there. Because here’s the truth. Our “systems’ that indoctrinate our children are all about creating a “well rounded” individual. They have to be “good” at everything, and when they’re not, they receive “bad grades.” Then this translates to a belief of inadequacy, and their self-esteem suffers. And self-esteem and self-worth are the PRIMARY factors in success. NOT SKILL!
A research study actually proved, that when you focus on strengths, a person will grow in that area close to 100 times! A person that is NOT strong in that area, only grows only about 2 times. Weird. So, when we focus on weakness, the person improves only slightly. What a waste of an incredible human whose talents lie elsewhere. But, when we focus on strength, the person’s ability explodes.
Here’s a question. Did you stink at math, and they forced you because they said “you’ll need this.” Did you really? Or, have you been able to adapt and figure out OTHER ways to solve the problems you needed to? I bet you have. And, had they focused on your strengths, you probably would have developed that adaptation within your strength, figured it out sooner, and achieved more over all. Am I right?
Next, if want them to strive to be a “who” that matters to themselves and to the planet, I have to show them that I’ve done that to. I want to be the who that loves, that gives, that changes lives. So, when my children are asked in THEIR teenage years WHAT they want to do, they can respond with, “it doesn’t matter what I do, but I want to BE a WHO that matters, and makes a difference.